Sunday Soul – Saudade
Bryan Ferry – of Roxy Music and arguably even more important solo endeavors – writes in his first post Roxy album “Mama says truth is all that matters. Lying and deceiving is a sin. Drifting through a world torn and tattered. Every thought I have don’t mean a thing.” I remember the women who saved my life more than once laughing at album covers of Roxy Music in the late 70’s because they typically hosted model-ish looking women and they felt that in an era of punks and hippies Bryan Ferry looked like a waiter. I stared back into his deep, moody eyes and agreed with whatever the women said. Inside I understood why he was staring, and why I felt like crying even when he sang about traditionally happy things, and cosmopolitan adventures. I didn’t have a word for it yet, and I didn’t talk much in those days, so I just quietly stared back into everyone’s eyes. The truth was a feeling, and nothing I could put my finger on quite yet.
The song continues, “Mama says love is all that matters. Beauty should be deeper than skin. Living for the moment. Lips and lashes. Will I ever find my way again?” I’ve had the most beautiful eyes staring back into mine in the dark. I tell you, that I’ve been lonely and heartbroken for as long as I can remember, but that’s not entirely true. Again, it’s just a feeling. Staving off the moment with memories of the things which seem to have nourished others, and slipped quietly though my fingers as the result of my own failings, short sightedness, or just my dumb luck. I am anything but a lucky man when it comes to most things. But when it comes to love I am a millionaire.
And then he croons,”Mama says only stormy weather. Don’t know why there’s no sun in the sky. Footsteps in the dark come together. Got to keep on moving or I will die.” I Remember laying on the floor in the kitchen of my first apartment listening to this album over and over and over again. At the time Bryan Ferry’s ‘Boys and Girls” album was distinctly different from anything else. Like all of the records of this era, they became the status quo, and so they lost their importance in terms of forging a sound. When they stood alone they were awe inspiring. When they were played in sequence, the Marcus Miller basslines all started to sound the same, and without Bryan Ferry up front it faded into a quiet storm of light jazz and we even stopped making out with it playing in the background.
Still, when we stop — stop dancing, stop moving, stop loving, stop anything — the ghosts of our heart come rushing in in the dark. That’s why so many of the people I meet seem to smoke way too much pot, or work all the fucking time, or organize and manage everything in their lives and have what we who do not suffer from these nervous ticks might call “control issues” or perfectionism. We all know that perfectionism is only fear unaddressed. And so to stop is to feel the flood of all we have deferred come for us. Call it panic attack – call it a grossly mismanaged inventory control system – who cares what you call it. The deferall appears to be cultural, and possibly indefinite. Maybe we have all left half of our hearts on the docks of Portuguese harbors, and are still waiting for the return of our beloveds who set sail for the unknown edges of the flat earth.
I wanted to express the passion of absence, the fires of radiantly invisible love, and the depth of devotion we all hold for anywhere but here, any time but now, and anyone but us. I attempted to do it slowly, with sensuality, and tenderness. I took my time, and lost myself completely. I hope you and your grief dissolved in there somewhere with mine.
Here is the track listing for Sunday Soul – Saudade:
1. Sunday Soul – Program ID
2. Saudade – Love And Rockets
3. Ready To Flight – Enzo Ponzio
4. Neeve -Woolfy
5. Games Without Frontiers – Sunshine Jones Re Edit – Peter Gabriel
6. Swoon – Lindstrom and Prins Thomas Remix – Chemical Brothers
7. Love on the line (Mustang Re Edit) – Barclay James Harvest
8. Love on the line (MTE Edit) – Barclay James Harvest
9. Are We There Yet – Audiofly X
10. Walk A Mile – Cuebur Mix – Nathan
11. Don’t Look Back – Kaznova
12. Movement – Afefe Iku
* sunlight on my face
13. Fences (Dana & Peder G’s Acidic Disco Twist) – Phoenix
14. Peak Time – sunshine’s extended disco remix – Native Inteligence
* how long have you been gone?
15. Welcome to the Party – Jazzanova remix – Har-You Percussion Group
16. Digital Yoga – Hesohi
17. Feel it for you – planetary access mix – Alternations
18. Kjappfot – Ytre Rymden Dansskola
19. Annihilate – Lost Entity
20. Blackjoy – La Stache – Moustache
21. Auf dem Hof – Kalabrese
* red flag
22. The Sun – Sunshine Jones DLAMB Rework – Heatmerchantz
23. Where Do I Fit – Narrator Mix – The Musicmaker
24. North East – El Carlitto
* your mouth is so dry, and my mind is full of sky
25. My Only Love – Sunshine’s Re Sync to 120 – Roxy Music
26. Deeper – Manuel Tur Remix – Blakkat
27. Fill up my heart – Sunshine Jones
28. Aviator – Poze
29. A Place In My Heart – Star You Star Me
30. Hot On The Heels Of Love – Throbbing Gristle
31. Absynth – Marcus Worgull Remix – Woolfy
32. Main Thing – Rub-n-Tug Remix – Roxy Music
33. Saudade – Love And Rockets
34. Sunday Soul – Program ID
35. So This Is Goodbye – Junior Boys
36. Sunday Soul – Program ID
Total Running Time: 03 Hours 26 Minutes 29 Seconds
* Performed Live