Sunday Soul – Got A Moan Moan Moan For You
My favorite American author James Baldwin writes in his closing summary of my favorite American poem/essay ‘The Fire Next Time:’ “I do not mean to be sentimental about suffering–enough is certainly as good as a feast–but people who cannot suffer can never grow up, can never discover who they are. That man who is forced each day to snatch his manhood, his identity, out of the fire of human cruelty that rages to destroy it knows, if he survives his effort, and even if he does not survive it, something about himself and human life that no school on earth–and, indeed, no church–can teach. He achieves his own authority, and that is unshakeable.” And I am moved beyond these rambling words, and even beyond the emotional landscapes produced within me by the mosaics I create for you each week. Oh the dream of being somehow redeemed by suffering, and how — if only we pry our fingers from the throat of our hate and fear; If only we could muster the courage to get the pruning shears and clip off our digits at the knuckles to free ourselves from ourselves — then we might truly find love and freedom.
My mentors and my peers commonly say that in life pain is a reality, a truth, something which simply happens along these paths. But suffering is optional. Baldwin suggests redemption by way of experience — the result being transcendence. The second idea points a serious finger at my failure to arrive anywhere near this moment, now. I am immediately torn between the two, and cast into a sea of the blues. Now I know that the notion that suffering is optional isn’t offered as a blaming concept — as if I should have known better than to dip my toe into the freezing cold water — but rather as a zen epiphany. “Oh!” she says and then suffers no more. And yet to journey through the wailing of everyone I see, your scowling face as you clip clop down the sidewalk in skinny jeans and pumps, or your blank expression as you reload another social networking site’s dashboard on your iphone while you stuff another morning bun into your mouth makes my heart pound right out of my chest. And even then I am a horrible liar because I can’t even see that my own eyes are opaque, and I have no ability to see my own neck craning in all directions at the slightest sign of life, and my own heart offered up like a cupcake to hearts and minds which absolutely know with all that they are that if they surrender their hatred and fear, that all that will remain is pain.
And so I suppose that I don’t mean to be sentimental about suffering either. But I’m with Mr. Baldwin. I do think that suffering is also a part of our experience. To climb to the rooftops and wail up to the stars with all that you are is a virtue in that at least when you’re done not only will some of the grief we carry be gone, but our voices will be ruined and no one will have to listen to us for a while.
I’ve been on a very internal journey lately. I’ve had surprisingly little to say, and so much music to play. I’m weaving something without a pattern, late with my themes, and stubborn about explaining myself. I can not express in words how grateful I am for you. How dearly I love you. I just can’t. So I’m attempting to show it with music, with work, with verbs, and perhaps visceral experiences. That and these heady program notes that I hope you are reading, and feeling, and delighted by.
My heart is yours. Fire away.
Here is the track listing for Sunday Soul – got a moan moan moan for you:
1. Sunday Soul – Program ID
2. Memories Of Green – Vangelis
3. Say My Name – Holy Ghost!
4. Are We There Yet – Audiofly X
5. Totally – Manuel Tur’s Bonus Dub – Mark Bell
* whispering the blues
6. Walk So Lonely – St Germain
7. I’m Not Blade Runner – Marcello Giordani
8. Glow – DJ Friendly Promo
9. Signals – Emperor Machine Remix – They Came From The Stars I Saw Them
10. Dub Is For Real – Maddslinky feat Mr Scruff
* a shift in my perspective
11. Baby I Can’t Stop – Aeroplane Mix – Solale & Lindstrom
* it’s on the roof, it’s in the trees, it’s in you, it’s deep inside of me
12. I Feel Space – Lindstrom
13. Moon – Libre – Unabombers Remix – DJ Mochizuki
14. Walk A Mile – Cuebur Mix – Nathan
15. Mass Storage – Mics Bitmix – Microstar
16. Deep Suprise – Florian Kruse Instrumental Cut – Samantha James
17. The Absurdity of Possession – Sunshine Jones *
18. In Different Memories – Cresp Eye Remix – Lazio Kasaa, Alec Cresp
* whispering tender secrets to distant lights which have already gone out
19. The Sun – Sunshine Jones DLAMB Rework – Heat Merchantz
20. Alabama Blues – St. Germain
21. Naked Goddess – Sciadare
22. Ready To Flight – Enzo Ponzio
23. Deepah – Soda Inc.
24. Supernature – Cerrone
25. Au Rêve – Tennishero
26. Letters (very rough) – Sunshine Jones
27. Normal – Novatek
28. I Need – Hugg & Pepp Remix – Robert Owens, Marc Romboy
29. North East – El Carlitto
* giving you head
30. Vehemence Of Silence – Motor City Drum Ensemble Perspective – Andre Lodemann
* furiously making love as slowly as possible until our hearts break wide open and there is nothing left of us
31. Throw – LCD Soundsystem
32. Another Station – Lindstrom
33. Solid Ground – Crazy P Remix – Yannah, Eddy
34. Why Don’t You Answer – SirBilly Edit – Eberhard Schoener
35. Love Sequence – Fernando
36. Up – Nicholas remix – Mario Basanov
37. End Title (Blade Runner) – Hipnosis
38. Memories Of Green – Vangelis
39. Sunday Soul – Program ID
40. I Want To Be With You – Harvey Edit – Doc Severinsen
41. Sunday Soul – Program ID
Total Running Time: 03 Hours 40 Minutes 13 Seconds
* Performed Live